Kuwabara's Hopelessly Warped Life
by Toxic Bishounen
Summary: Kazuma Kuwabara can see ghosts. Keiko happened to get hit by a car. When Keiko possesses Kuwabara, he suddenly develops a few...admirers. (Primarily KuwaYuusuke)
1. The strange start of it all

Toxic Bishounen: My first fic! Hope you all like it.

—Notes—

First, this will have multiple yaoi couples in it. (Kuwabara/Yuusuke, Itsuki/Sensui, onesided Kurama/Kuwabara, Kurama/Kuronue, onesided Keiko/Yuusuke (non-yaoi), Yomi generally going with just about any boy he can get his hands on, onesided Yomi/Hiei, onesided Karasu/Kurama, onesided Ani Toguro/Yomi (?), and maybe more.)

Second, there will be a lot of OOCness here. I know in reality Kuwabara's a lot tougher, and Yuusuke's not going to be some guy-magnet, and Kurama's never played soccer and would never be the creepy-vengeful type, and Hiei's got no love life at all, and Keiko doesn't talk this much, and Genkai isn't as creepy, Sensui would **_NEVER_** be so friendly with the Reikai Tantei-gumi, and Yomi's actually not this much of a lecher with the boys. So…don't sue me or flame if your favorite character is acting really screwy.

Third, this is a retelling of the yaoi manga series "Eerie Queerie" by Shiozu Shuri. The cast of characters will be:

Kazuma Kuwabara as Shiozu Mitsuo

Urameshi Yuusuke as Hasunuma

Yukimura Keiko as Suzaka Kiyomi (deceased)

Kuronue as Shiiba Natsuko (deceased)

Kurama as Shirai Ichi

Genkai as Hanamaki Kikuno

Koenma Daioh as the Zashiki Warashi

Jaganshi Hiei as Hibiki Kanau (deceased)

Yomi as Chief Priest Mikuni

Sensui Shinobu as Kagami Itsuki

Itsuki as Fujikake Shino

Random OC as Yoshitan

Shura Akachan as Mikuni Akachan

Touya as Yoshikado

Jin Kaze Tsukai as Murasaki

Ototo Toguro as Sanjaya Satoi

Karasu as Sanjaya Niro

Ani Toguro as Sanjaya Ichiro

Hagiri Kaname as the class president

Mitarai Kiyoshi as Yaegaki Atsuko/Atsushi

Botan as the random maid

Eikichi as Yumi, the Sanjaya family cat

So, here I shall start the story!

"_It all started one morning as I was walking the streets, looking for someone to fight…"_

Kuwabara Kazuma stopped in front of a girl in a school uniform. She was staring at the ground, moving around a bit of gravel, and her brown hair was pulled back into pigtails.

"Oh…" Kazuma started, staring at the girl. "Hey, are you OK?"

She looked up at him with her huge brown eyes. "Can you…see me?"

"…What…?" Kazuma asked. Duh, he could see her! She was right there in front of him!

She floated up into the air, happily cheering, "You _can_ see me! Yay!"

Kazuma stared. _"This was apparently a place where someone passed away,"_ he thought to himself.

"The victim died instantly and was killed by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel. Yeah, this is it," she explained. "This is about me. …Bummer, they didn't even run a picture of me."

Kazuma looked up from the old newspaper obituary the ghost had given to him. "Uhh, Keiko, even if you possess my body, ther's not gonna be a whole lot you can do. Since the person who ran you over was caught, I think you should just rest in peace."

The ghostly girl smiled. "No way! There are still some things I want to do."

_Until last week, Yukimura Keiko had been an eighth-grader at Sarayashiki Junior High. She must've gotten pretty bored since she became a ghost. No one could see or hear her._

She moved closer to Kazuma. "Hey, is that a science test you're studying for? It doesn't look that hard. Science must not be your best subject."

Kazuma glared. "It's none of your business whether I'm good at it or not! Besides, I bet I got a higher grade than you on last week's test."

"Oh, really?" Keiko asked. "I got a 97. How about you?"

Kazuma puffed out his chest. "A 12! Beat that!"

"Hoo…while I'm possessing you, I might as well try to put some sense in that carrot-topped head of yours."

_As luck would have it, the first ghost Kuwabara Kazuma met would end up getting her way with him_.

"Hel-**_lo_**! Are you listening, Kazuma? Since you can see and hear me, you can't just pretend I don't exist." She yanked on his ears.

"Hey!" Kazuma shouted, waving her away. It looked to normal people as if he was crazy, striking at air. He saw this and quieted down. Keiko stared at him.

"Uh, Miss Yukimura, since I am the only one here who can see and hear you…could you please be a bit more considerate?" he muttered.

"Call me Keiko. You act as if we're strangers."

"_We **are** strangers,"_ he thought angrily.

"Oh well, at least you're not afraid of me," Keiko said with a Cheshire-catlike grin. "Otherwise, I'd be better off talking to myself."

Kazuma thought to himself, _"I see you. I hear you. Nothing I can do about it."_

"Oh, this is our classroom. It's just like I remember it. My old desk hasn't even been moved yet." Suddenly, something caught her eye. She stared at it, following its every move. "Ohmygawd! He's here! For once, he's actually come to school! Whaddo I do? Whaddo I do?"

"_I'm going to have to stop by the temple on my way home from school. I hope an exorcism won't cost too much…"_ Kazuma thought to himself.

Keiko spoke suddenly, startling Kazuma. "Kazuma! This is fate, y'know. It's my big chance. But no one other than you can see or hear me." Kazuma felt a sudden chill like he usually did when a spirit was behind him. "Sorry, Kazuma, but I gotta do this!"

Keiko's spirit entered Kazuma's body, pushing him out.

"_Whoa, this is creepy! What just happened? Hey, what am I doing over there? **What the heck is going on? I'm outside my body!**"_ Kazuma thought, realizing what just happened. His body moved closer to a boy with slicked-back hair and tough-looking brown eyes. Before he could react, Keiko (in his body) said to the boy…

"Excuse me, Urameshi… I've had a crush on you for a long time."

"Uh…" the boy said nervously.

The class all stared at him. Three boys called out, "So Kuwabara Kazuma plays for the other team? And we thought you were just a softie for small animals." They turned to the boy. "Hey, Yuusuke, what're you guys gonna do—go out on a date? Wow, we can't believe he actually did it. This is the first time I've actually seen a real gay guy."

Urameshi Yuusuke said nothing.

The boys in the class kept taunting Kazuma, but Mr. Takenaka came in and shut them up.

At lunch…-

"Hey, Kazuma, when you're dead, you have no reason to hold back," Keiko commented. "Still, it was kind of embarrassing… Hey, what's the matter? You're so bummed out."

Kazuma glared at Keiko. "Thanks to you, I have to hide behind the school to eat my lunch."

Keiko smiled. "Oh, Kazuma, you're sharing your feelings with me. How sweet."

"You know, Keiko…" He squeezed his milk carton so hard, it burst. "Keiko, you… you violated the sacredness of the living!" he shouted, crying anime-style.

During just this one day, she had made him do all kinds of things. In one class, she had moved his desk next to Yuusuke's (intentionally). Later, his textbook disappeared (intentionally). Then, in gym class, he and Yuusuke had been paired up (intentionally).

"I'm sorry, Kazuma. I didn't know you were in the same class…frankly, I never really noticed you at all," she mumbled apologetically. Then, going into 'chick mode', she rambled, "I've had a crush on Yuusuke for about a year, but until now, the only thing I knew about him was that he was a school-skipping delinquent, a pervert, and some other bad stuff I don't really care about." She grinned. "This sure feels like fate!"

"_I really need to get exorcised…"_ he thought.

Back in the classroom, at the end of the day…-

"_Whew…Yuusuke has **got** to think I'm a freak by now…"_ he thought, staring into space. His textbook was gone—again—and thus he was reading Yuusuke's. _However, for Kazuma…_

"Hey, Kuwabara, I was thinking…" _When it rains…_

"…I wouldn't mind going out with you." _...it pours._

Kazuma stared at Urameshi for a second, then ran straight to the local temple on his way home. However, an exorcism of a human soul was too complicated for the priest there, so Kazuma went home to start dinner.

"You cook your own dinner?" Keiko asked. "So where's your mom?" She stopped. "I'm sorry. Are you an orphan?"

"My mom and dad are alive and well, thank you. They just work a lot."

"Oh, I see." Keiko sniffed at what Kuwabara was cooking. What the heck was that stuff? It looked like pancakes, but it smelled like three-day-old meatloaf.

Silence hung in the air, broken only by the TV's blaring weather report. It was probably going to be sunny, as usual.

"If I may ask, do you get lonely?" Keiko asked. She paused. "Kazuma! Answer me. Are you mad at me? You're mad about what I said to Yuusuke. Aren't you?" She paused again, expecting a response. "Is that it? C'mon, tell me!" Getting still no response, she started bawling anime-style. "You've got to understand. You're the only person I can talk to!"

"…_Brat…"_ Kuwabara thought. He tried to respond calmly. "I'd rather keep to myself, thank you."

"Hmm…" Keiko grinned. "Well, that explains why you don't have any friends at school. Why are you so quiet?"

"_Please, just leave me alone,"_ Kazuma thought angrily. An old proverb popped into his head: _A crow crying is already laughing._

"I kinda like being alone," Kazuma replied. "I guess I'm also used to it because my parents have always been so busy, and my sister's always out doing who-knows-what with that Sakyo guy."

"You like being alone? When I died and became a ghost, I popped in on my funeral. A lot of people came to pay their respects. But it was so strange. No one, including my parents and friends, not even Yuusuke, noticed me. Even when I did this." She poked Kazuma on the nose. "That whole time, I was all alone." She stopped looking sad and jumped up into the air. "Ya know, that sucked! If I had a body, I'd celebrate today's encounter with Yuusuke. I'll make seafood spaghetti for you…how's that sound? I'm a great cook! Oh, all I have to do is take over your body and make it."

"Don't you _dare,_" Kazuma grumbled. He thought to himself, glad that she couldn't hear him, _"Keiko's a manic girl, crying one minute and laughing the next. She's also selfish…"_

Kazuma glared at her for a moment, then told her, "I'm gonna go take a shower, so stay out of trouble. Go watch TV or sumthin'."

As he shut the door, Keiko shouted, "What? How boring!"

The next morning…-

"Good morning, Kazuma," Kuwabara Shizuru mumbled as she ambled towards her brother. She was still half-asleep and wearing pajamas. "You're up early…" She lit up a cigarette and stared at what Kazuma was making. "A box lunch? Unusual…"

"Good morning, Shizuru," Kazuma said with a grin. He sounded very different. "I made one for you and one for Sakyo, when you see him next."

Kazuma's older sister took another long puff on her cigarette, then mumbled, "Huh. To school already? Something's up, you've never been like this about anything, especially not school."

"Well, today's different. Have a wonderful day, sister!" He rushed out of the house, his voice almost singsong.

At the bus stop…-

Kazuma looked around confusedly. "Uhh…where…am…I? I was in bed…I think?" He looked up at the street sign overhead. "Akamatsu 4-Chome? Where the hell is that?"

Keiko floated past, drooping. "Whew…possessing someone sure takes a lot of energy. I'm pooped! …But it'll all be worth it soon."

"_Argh…not Keiko again…"_ he thought. _"Oh, here comes the bus—HEY!"_ He looked down at his hands. Two of his fingers had been burnt, and six others had been cut. "M-My hands… they sting!"

"Hurry up, Kazuma!" Keiko shouted. "We're going to school on _this_ bus!"

Kazuma stepped on, grumbling at Keiko, "Can you please tell me why the hell I'm here? And what happened to my hands?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I cut it… just a little. I made lunch for you—I hope you like it."

"_This is not funny,"_ Kazuma thought. _"Just feel free to take over my body whenever you like. …Don't tell me that was an instant meal!"_

"Kuwabara?"

Kazuma looked over. Yuusuke was standing right there.

"Hey, Kuwabara! What are you doing on this bus?"

Kazuma realized that she had put him on this bus so they could meet Yuusuke. He yawned—loudly.

"Wow, that's a pretty big yawn," Yuusuke pointed out the obvious. "You've gotta pretty big mouth, too, so I'm not surprised." He smiled.

Kazuma ran to the other end of the bus, distancing himself. _"He's so gay…"_ he thought, glad that Yuusuke wasn't a mind reader.

Yuusuke stared blankly, then followed Kazuma to the end of the bus.

"_Even if Keiko keeps possessing me, I must defend my virtue no matter what it takes,"_ Kazuma thought. He turned around and came face-to-face with Yuusuke.

"Kuwabara…why are you avoiding me?" Yuusuke asked politely. He put one hand on Kazuma's face. "You look pale. Are you feeling sick?"

"Don't touch me! If you do, I'll bash your face in, Urameshi! And I wasn't really in the fighting mood—don't make me resort to violence!"

Yuusuke stared some more, moving his hand to Kazuma's shoulder to try to calm him down.

"Don't get any closer to me!" Kazuma shouted, then turned and ran back to the front of the bus.

Keiko screamed at Kazuma. "Hey, Kazuma! Whaddya think you're doing? Yuusuke's worried about you. There's no reason to try and hit him. No violence!"

"Shaddup!" Kazuma retorted.

"……?" Yuusuke wondered, watching Kazuma as he acted like a total hotheaded baka.

After school…-

Kazuma stormed towards home, mumbling various obscenities characteristic of himself.

"You know, Kazuma," Keiko remarked, "Happiness is all around. All you have to do is seize it!"

"_Stop seizing my body, then!"_ Kazuma thought to himself. _"I'm pissed—I'm tired of her playing with my body like it's some kind of ragdoll! Thanks to her, everyone thinks me and Yuusuke are a couple!"_

"Haven't you had enough? Hurry up and move on!" Kazuma growled angrily.

"No way," Keiko replied. "Oh, hey! Kazuma, wait a minute." She floated through the front door and into the Kuwabara residence.

"…_What? Free…at last? Whoa! Cool!"_ Kazuma thought. "Now what?" he asked, unsure whether his freedom was real.

"Welcome home, Kazuma."

Kazuma stared at Keiko.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked.

"What the hell was that, Keiko?"

"Oh, there's never anyone here to greet you when you get home from school. It must make you feel so lonely. Wouldn't you feel better if someone was here to greet you?"

Kazuma sighed. "There's nothing I can do about it since there's no one around."

"But I'm here now," Keiko said, smiling. "Welcome back, Kazuma."

"_What did I ever do to deserve this?"_ Kazuma thought, entering his house and picking up a magazine about ghosts.

"Why are you reading all those ghost magazines?"

"My last resort is to perform an exorcism on myself."

"What a drag. Let's play magical bananas instead."

"…And why are you so hyper today?"

Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "Hello?" Kazuma asked, opening the door.

Yuusuke smiled. "Hi."

BANG! Kazuma slammed the door. "Don't I have some homework to do?"

"If you don't let him in, I'll haunt you and all your descendents," Keiko threatened darkly. Kazuma sighed and opened the door.

"You sure are hot-and-cold. You called me last night, remember?"

Kazuma stared blankly. "Uh…I did?"

"Yeah, like at two in the morning."

Kazuma glared at Keiko, who was whistling innocently. "So…?"

"You don't remember? You asked me to come over tomorrow 'cause it's a holiday. I told you I had some stuff to do, but I'd be happy to come over when I got finished. Comprende?"

"Tell him you do! Now lend me your body, Kazuma!"

Kazuma scrunched up his face. "No. Yuusuke, I'm not feeling too good…"

"Lend it to me!" Keiko grabbed Kazuma's arm.

"I won't let you!" Kazuma waved his free arm wildly.

"Uh…Kuwabara?" Yuusuke asked, staring at Kazuma. Apparently, the latter was maniacally slapping at thin air. "Do you…need your head examined, or what?"

Keiko had won the fight and taken over Kazuma's body. "Oh…hey. Yeah, well…I'm sorry. It's nothing, nothing at all. Heheh…" she mumbled, blushing. "Come in, come in, please. I'll make you some tea."

"Uh…sure," Yuusuke replied.

"I was thinking we could maybe go out… but being together alone like this is nice too," Keiko (in Kazuma's body) commented.

"_This is not good. I'm getting very nervous…"_ the real Kazuma thought. _"Please don't kiss me. Please don't kiss me… I wish I had a chastity belt on."_

His worst nightmare was just beginning. Keiko looked at Yuusuke and asked, "Will you kiss me?"

Yuusuke stared at who he thought was Kazuma, then mumbled, "Okay… I guess."

"Yippee!" shouted Keiko.

That did it. Kazuma floated over to his possessed body and started strangling himself (which wasn't really him at the moment). "No, Keiko! It's my body!"

"It's just a kiss! Get off!" Keiko yelled back.

"Over my freakin' dead body!" Kazuma growled fiercely.

"You're so narrow-minded, Kazuma! If you don't like it, go in the other room!" Keiko screeched.

"**CUT IT OUT, KEIKO!"** Kazuma screamed. "You still don't get it! This'll never go anywhere! When you enter my body and get close to Yuusuke, he's falling for me, not you! Geez, girl, wake up and smell the coffee! Using someone else's body to make up for what you missed when you were alive won't make things better! You may be enjoying this, but you're ruining **my** life, you little wench!"

"…Horrible. You're horrible!" Keiko shot back. "How can you say such things? What's important is the soul, right? The body is just a container. Even if it's you on the outside, my heart—my insides—belong to me. And that means it's me Yuusuke sees! Besides, don't you prefer being alone, Kazuma? This should be perfect for you! Why don't we just stay switched? I don't like being alone! There are still so many things I want to do. I don't want to just die like I did."

Yuusuke stared, then stood up.

Keiko kept going. "…Never. I'm never going to return your body! I'm… what the—?"

Yuusuke threw his arms around Kazuma. The real Kazuma backed away, watching.

"Yu…Yuusuke… l-let go. It's hot! It's… uhh…hot in here…g-get off. S-Seriously…"

Yuusuke only held on tighter.

"I'm not returning!" Keiko screamed. "I'm going to stay, and there's… nothing… y-you… can do… about… it…" She trailed off.

Some time later…-

"Are you awake?"

Kazuma sat up bolt upright. He wiggled his fingers. "Right on! I'm back! I'm back!" He noticed Yuusuke sitting next to him and turned a weird shade of whitish-green.

"Don't worry," Yuusuke said. "I didn't do anything you'd regret."

"Uhh… what's this about?"

Yuusuke held his jacket open. Strips of paper hung on the inside. "These are charm cards. They help get rid of ghosts."

"Um…Ok… I think I get it." Kazuma looked around. "Hey, where's Keiko?"

"Her name was Keiko, huh? I guess she was repelled to some other dimension, maybe."

"So, wait! You knew what was going on?"

"Well, sort of. I can't see ghosts. (Demons, however, are different.) But since you were acting so nutty, I figured you were either schizophrenic or possessed. After waiting a bit, I found out it was the latter. Looks like I was right."

"Lucky for me…" Kazuma started. "Keiko was an eighth-grader at Sarayashiki Junior High, the one we go to when we actually go to school."

"Huh. I see. I think I knew her… she'd always gripe at me for skipping school." He handed a stack of charm cards to Kazuma. "Just in case."

"Yuusuke… I'm real sorry 'bout this."

"Don't mention it. It's tough for me too, y'know. I just wanted to see if those would work."

Three days later…-

Kazuma never really saw a reason to speak to Yuusuke after that. Although he was still getting crap for it, his life was (for the most part) back to normal. But something just seemed to be missing…it just didn't feel right.

At school, after class…-

"Kuwabara."

"Huh?" Kazuma turned to Yuusuke, who had happened to drop by.

"You're out of all that trouble, but you still seem kinda down. Is Keiko still on your mind?"

"Uh…not particularly."

"Then hurry up and get over it. Don't look so sad."

"I'm not sad! Kuwabara Kazuma never gets sad!"

Yuusuke leaned in next to Kazuma, staring into the other's eyes.

"What?" Kazuma asked.

"Kuwabara… I—"

The bell rang. Kazuma stated the obvious and ran off.

He thought to himself, _"Was I lonely? I don't think so. Keiko was annoying—a total pain in the neck. She seriously ticked me off 'cause she did whatever she liked with my body…_my body, _mind you! I thought I'd be relieved now that she's gone. It is nice and quiet… Yuck, my lunch tastes horrible. I do miss her cooking…"_

He walked down to where he had first found her. She was pushing gravel around, as usual. She stared at him and said flatly, "…Kazuma."

"I thought I'd find you here."

Keiko turned away. "Why did you come? I thought I was a nuisance. Selfish and annoying…"

"Yeah, you sure are," Kazuma remarked.

"Whatever…" Keiko mumbled. "I don't intend to take over your body anymore."

"I came to get you… Keiko."

"…Why?" she asked.

Kazuma put out his hand. "Because I wanted to."

That day, Keiko didn't take over Kazuma's body—she didn't even try. She just sat by his side and watched Yuusuke. Occasionally, when her and Kazuma's eyes met, she'd smile at him. And since we all know Kuwabara's a big fat softie, his heart melted every time. He would then flip the page of his textbook for no reason.

At lunch, Keiko asked, "Kazuma, will you call Yuusuke after school?"

"All right. Why?"

"I wanna pick up where we left off last time."

The entire contents of Kazuma's juicebox sprayed out of his nose. "Y-You want to use my body for this, don't you?"

"Well, of course. Y'know, I've never kissed anyone. To die without ever having a first kiss…that's sad!"

"I-It sure is…" Kazuma sputtered. "Well, okay. No matter how much I'll hate it, I'll let you. But you have to promise me you'll only do it once, all right?"

"Yaaaaaay!" Keiko shouted.

On top of a hill…-

"Wow, Kazuma, the view is great!"

"Yeah, isn't it cool?"

Keiko paused, looking out over the horizon. "You know, Kazuma, I hated myself when I was alive. I was always worried about what others would think, always afraid they might not like me. I was never very good at expressing myself. At school I was a follower, never wanting to take any chances. I would just stand there and admire Yuusuke from afar. I was such a wimp. I wanted to change, but I couldn't—I didn't have the courage. I was so lonely the entire time. I hated myself for being such a coward. I kept saying I'd change eventually…and then I died. It's unbearably painful when I look back on my life. I was so sad when I met you, Kazuma."

"Wow. You're like a completely different person from the Keiko I know."

"Huh?"

"I think this Keiko is good. I don't dislike you."

"…Thank you."

Yuusuke walked up to the two. "Kuwabara?"

Keiko (now in Kazuma's body) replied, "So good to see you, Yuusuke."

"…Keiko?"

Keiko nodded. "Kazuma came to get me." She turned to Kazuma's spirit. "Kazuma, if you don't mind, could you turn the other way? After all, it is embarrassing to have someone watch you."

She was too late. Kazuma screeched, "Look, I don't wanna see this anyway!" He was closing his eyes, covering his ears, and on top of all that, he had distanced himself.

"I'm sorry," Keiko mumbled to Yuusuke.

"Why's that, Keiko?"

"When I heard you say that you'd be willing to go out with me, I was so happy. Those were the words I'd beem dreaming to hear while I was alive. This is so cool! I was so happy, I didn't realize what a terrible thing I was doing to you and Kazuma. I got carried away. I was selfish. I realized that after you repelled me from Kazuma's body. Even though your answer was really directed at Kazuma. I… did a terrible thing. I'm sorry." She brushed a tear away.

"Don't worry." Yuusuke smiled. "We were both being honest, and that's okay. I remember an amazing girl who went to Sarayashiki. She always held the handle near the bus door, and sometimes she'd nag me about going to school more often. That was you, wasn't it, Keiko?"

"You… noticed me?

"Yeah."

"Oh…thank you! Yuusuke, I… had such a crush on you." She turned to Kazuma's spirit. "Kazuma, thank you for letting me take over your body."

"Uhh… that sure was long…" Kazuma mumbled once he was back in his body.

"We didn't kiss. I just talked to him as myself. I wanted to kiss him soooo bad. But the joy you get from that is only when you experience it with your own body. I'm so glad I met you, Kazuma."

"Um… Keiko?" Kazuma mumbled.

"I revealed my true self to you, Kazuma. I'm finally able to express my true thoughts and feelings. That's all I ever wanted. Even though I caused you trouble, you came to get me. I'm so glad you accepted me for who I am. Thank you…it's such a heartwarming feeling. To finally be truly honest with yourself is so liberating. It's awesome to be accepted as you are. I'm no longer lonely. Because of you, Kazuma, I'm finally happy. I hope the next time I'm reincarnated, I'll have the courage to be true to myself. If I like someone, I'll make sure I tell him with my own self. Kazuma, I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused. I…"

Kazuma piped up. "After you left, I thought it would be a relief having my own body back. But I really did miss you. I found myself feeling really lonely. I'm glad I met you too, Keiko! I won't forget you!"

Keiko put one arm around Kazuma. "Be happy, Kazuma. Thank you. You mean a lot to me too. Goodbye…" She disappeared alone into a cloud to await the next ferrygirl to Reikai.

"Goodbye…" Kazuma said quietly. He turned to Yuusuke. "Now I almost feel okay with the idea of being possessed…"

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"…Interesting."

"That was rather disappointing, though—I didn't have the nerve to hug her back."

Yuusuke stared out over the horizon. "Yeah…sad."

"She was selfish to the end, just leaving all of a sudden like that." Kazuma was smiling. "Sometimes we don't even understand our own feelings."

"Some people are like that, but can't come to terms with it," Yuusuke added.

"Yeah, they just won't admit it. Are you that way?"

"Mm…you could say that, sometimes. But you should never be afraid to be yourself."

The truth is, Kazuma wasn't too much of a fan of being alone. _"Perhaps having friends will be fun after all…"_ he thought.

"Hey, Yuusuke, can you cook? I can't. Why don't you help me with tonight's dinner?"

"Sure," Yuusuke replied. "When you enjoy someone else's company, I'm sure even **your** cooking would taste good."

(Hooray, I finished! But this is only Chapter One. There will be more! Wait, and Chapter Two will be up soon!)


	2. Promise, Part One

_(Okay, Chapter Two! This won't be as long, I guess. All apologies for the OOCness. I know Kurama/Minamino Shuuichi doesn't wear glasses in reality, but it's part of the story. It will be explained in Part Three. And also, Kuwabara's dream is modeled on the one he has in the episode where Yuusuke first wakes up from being dead.)_ So, here comes…

Promise: Part One

Kazuma and Yuusuke have been friends ever since Keiko left. A week has passed since, and every day, Yuusuke has stopped by Kazuma's house. Surprisingly, he's helped Kazuma improve his cooking to the level of "cheap TV dinner". But then, things started getting weird…

"Yuusuke… I don't know about this."

"Just relax, there's nothing to worry about," Yuusuke replied, unbuttoning his shirt.

"Yuusuke… I can't," pleaded Kazuma.

Yuusuke put one hand on Kazuma's face. "Come here… I'll teach you."

The morning was calm and peaceful. The silence was unbroken except for the occasional chirping of birds.

"_**YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_

"Honey, that sounded like a supersonic boom…" the neighbor's wife commented.

"Really. I didn't hear anything," replied the neighbor, ignoring that huge noise coming from the house next door.

"I wonder if that was the Kuwabara kid…" she said.

Kazuma sat frozen in his bed, red-faced and breathing heavily. "Whew. Just a dream."

He sat there for a while longer, then it hit him. "DISGUSTING!" he yelled to nobody in particular. "Why the hell did I have a dream like that?"

The minute he got to school, he grabbed a book from the library shelf. It read: "A sexual dream is an indication of the intensity of one's life force and the abundance of one's creativity and curiosity. It is also indicative of one's desire to incorporate the strengths of the other person and to deepen one's relationship with that person."

"Whew. Dreams are too abstract," Kazuma thought, worried if it meant he was gay.

"Good morning," Yuusuke said, hanging over Kazuma like a storm cloud. "I called you several times. Didn't you hear me?"

Instantly, Kazuma had a short flashback of the dream. As it kicked in, he turned bright red, matching his hair.

"What the…? Are you…sick or something?" Yuusuke asked.

"Um…it's not that… I-I'm sorry. I…I didn't do it in the end. I-It was just a dream, you know."

"Uh…What the hell are you talking about?"

The bell rang, and the two walked to class together. Yuusuke asked again, "What happened? You're as red as a beet, dude!"

"It's nothing!" Kazuma shouted, turning away.

"Oh-kay…" Yuusuke said in a singsong voice.

"Really!" Kazuma flipped madly through his textbook.

Some of the boys came up to Kazuma and Yuusuke. One of them held a book titled "Health and Physical Education for Good Children". They didn't seem to fear Yuusuke anymore, since they thought he had gone soft. Typical of their age group, they started hassling the two with various insults.

"Have you guys done it?"

"I don't get it, man…how two guys can talk about love and crap."

"Hey, how far have you two gone?"

Yuusuke grinned at them, unruffled. "I can't believe they're still saying things like that."

Kazuma turned red again. "W-We aren't gay!"

One of the guys laughed. "Ooh! Did you hear that?"

Another asked Yuusuke, "Hey, does your mom let you off doing it with someone of the same sex?"

Yuusuke stared calmly back at him. "Why don't you guys try it out and tell me? Enough already!"

Some of the girls held the boys back. "Geez! Would you guys just drop it already? This is getting old. You're all so immature."

Kazuma walked out of the room.

"Hey, Kazuma is running away. Guilty conscience?"

About half of the boys chimed in. "Hey, queer boy—don't run away!"

Kazuma closed his eyes and tried to ignore it. _"Boy, if I didn't have that deal with Mr. Akashi, they'd all have broken noses."_

He kept walking, not knowing where he was going. A boy with long red hair walked along in the opposite direction. He held a huge stack of papers, so high he couldn't see over it. They both came closer and collided, sending the papers flying.

"Uh…excuse me," Kazuma sputtered.

"Look where you're going," the boy replied.

"I'm sorry."

"That kind of apology just won't do. Drop down on your knees and put the tips of your first three fingers together on the floor, then rub you forehead."

"What the…? I don't have to go that far, do I?" Kazuma asked angrily.

"…Huh?" the boy asked, staring at Kazuma with deep green eyes. He was wearing glasses.

A strange voice came from nowhere. "Hello, Kazuma…"

Kazuma looked up at the red-haired boy. He didn't seem to notice the guy floating above him, wearing black clothes and a weird hat with the top ripped off. "Yoo-hoo!" said the strange guy.

"You can see me, can't you?" he asked Kazuma. And he truly was a sight. He had long navy-blue hair, drawn up in a ponytail and sticking out of the hole in his hat. His ears were long and pointed, and he had a pair of batlike wings coming out of his shoulders. He had a lazy look to him, and around his neck, a red pendant hung.

"_Oh no. Not again! I didn't see or hear anything. I will NOT let another ghost take over me!"_ Kazuma walked stiffly away.

"Hey you… You!" The guy flew over to Kazuma and hung over his shoulder. "Hello!"

"**I can't do anything for you!"** Kazuma shouted, running away.

The guy pouted. "Oh! Please, don't be frightened! If you run away like that…" He flew after Kazuma, who suddenly felt very heavy. "…I'll have to come after you."

He planted his hands firmly into Kazuma's shoulders. "I've been looking for someone who could see me for a long time. After a six-year search, you're not slipping away from me that easily." He put one finger on Kazuma's neck. "I'm really glad that person is a cutie like you, and not some creepy old dude."

Kazuma froze. The ghost let go of him and said, "Sorry for trespassing." He popped into Kazuma's body. Kazuma's spirit stared. "Not again!"

The guy ran over to the red-haired boy. "Kurama! Hey, Kurama!"

Kurama stared at who he thought was the weirdo who knocked his papers out of his hands.

The guy slammed into Kurama, sending the papers flying again. He threw his arms around the boy. "…Kurama, all this time, I've wanted to hug you like this."

Kurama stared some more.

"Oh, Kurama," the guy said, stroking Kurama's hair. "You want to steal things, right? It's your true passion. Please, please steal something."

Kazuma and Yuusuke stared blankly. Some of the boys shouted towards the guy holding Kurama, "Hey, what's this? Are you two-timing Yuusuke?"

Suddenly, the guy in Kazuma's body was flung to the floor. He sat up and looked at Kurama, rubbing the bruise on his cheek.

"Stop talking crap, you pervert!" Kurama shouted at him, then ran off.

Yuusuke went up to the guy in Kazuma's body. "Hey, are you all right?" There was no response.

And that's how Kazuma Kuwabara met Kuronue.

At lunch…-

"Eek. Who on earth is that supposed to be? Me? How terrible! Even a five-year-old could draw me better. What an insult! To think I even _posed_ for you!"

The guy was a bat demon named Kuronue. He had been just another demon a couple hundred years ago. Apparently, after he died, he came back and haunted a boy named Shuuichi Minamino. Why he calls him "Kurama", nobody knew at the time.

"Hmm… so that's what he looks like?" Yuusuke asked, studying the drawing. Kazuma wasn't exactly an artist.

"Augh! The injustice!" shouted Kuronue melodramatically.

"_Is my drawing so bad it makes you cry?"_ Kazuma asked Kuronue.

Yuusuke had no idea what Kuronue really looked like. He could see demons, but only living ones.

"I've already told you—there's nothing I can do for you. Go back to haunting Shuuichi Minamino."

"No way! Kurama can't see or hear me. Besides, I just want to borrow your body for a little while, if it's okay with you."

Kazuma muttered something that had to be bleeped.

"Hey, Kazuma, don't forget about these," Yuusuke said, holding up some charm cards.

"Oh, yeah. D'you always carry these around?"

"It's good to always be prepared. Right?"

"_Of course. Did he bring these…because he's worried about me? Heheh. What a great friend."_

"Thanks, Urameshi."

Kuronue grumbled, "Hey! Throw those away!"

"No problem," Yuusuke said to Kazuma, unaware of Kuronue's presence. "We'll put these here." Yuusuke stuck a few cards onto Kazuma. "Are they working?"

"Uh… he doesn't seem to like them. As long as I have these, he can't get me."

"You underestimate me, Kazuma!" Kuronue took off the pendant and swung it around a few times. The charm cards and Kazuma's shirt were instantly ripped to shreds.

"Geez…" Kazuma muttered, brushing a few shreds off of himself. The entire lunchroom started cheering.

"Thank you, thank you, everyone. Though you can't see me, I do appreciate my adoring public." Kuronue turned to Kazuma. "Hmph. I've had a career as a ghost for over 450 years. I've got quite a few tricks up my sleeves. And I'm not afraid of silly ol' charm cards. Sorry!" He stared at Kazuma's ripped-up shirt. "Oops. I got a little carried away with tearing your shirt." (Is he _sure_ it wasn't on purpose? o.O)

Yuusuke covered his mouth, in shock at the whole situation.

Kuronue cracked his knuckles. "Are you ticklish? I'll bet you are."

Kazuma flailed madly at Kuronue, trying to get him off. The truth is, he really was ticklish. As seen by normal people, there was some whacked-out carrot top dancing around shirtless in a middle-school cafeteria.

After school…-

"…You look kinda beaten," Yuusuke pointed out.

"Yeah, well, it takes a lot out of me when I'm possessed…and Kuronue's powers are really strong."

A brief summary of the day… After second period, Kuronue possessed him and stalked Shuuichi. During lunch, Kuronue possessed him and bothered Shuuichi. Right after school, Kuronue possessed him and harassed Shuuichi. Shuuichi was a master at ignoring.

"Since the cards won't work on him, an exorcism at a shrine or temple probably won't do any good, either," Kazuma said.

"Do you want to look for an expert to help you?" Yuusuke asked.

"Sure. Let's look into it. Urameshi… I'm sorry I'm troubling you all the time."

"Forget it," Yuusuke replied. He wrapped his arms around Kazuma. "You don't have to worry about such things." He leaned in and gave Kazuma a quick peck on the cheek.

It took a few seconds for Kazuma to realize what had just happened. When it finally set in, he bolted three yards away from Yuusuke. **"(bleep)! AAUGH!** You put your lips on me—your lips! That's freakin' gross!"

Yuusuke smiled. "What's so bad about embracing a friend… or kissing for that matter?"

"…Huh? Really?" Kazuma asked. "You really think it's OK?" He was wrapped around Yuusuke's little finger. "Uh… sorry. This is all kinda new to me. So even though it's kinda disgusting, it's OK?"

Yuusuke laughed. "Yeah, nothing wrong with it."

Kuronue floated behind the two, following them to Kazuma's house.

In the kitchen…-

"Is it fun watching me cook?" Kazuma asked, fixing dinner.

"I enjoy it," Yuusuke replied.

"Haha. You're one weird kid, you know that?" Kazuma laughed.

"_Hey, how often do I get to see you wear an apron?"_ Yuusuke thought to himself.

The real Kazuma stared at Kuronue, who was in his body. _"This is really sad. Me…in an apron. Sorry ass…"_

Once he finished cooking, Kuronue returned Kazuma to his body. Kazuma and Yuusuke both shoved fistfuls of food into their mouths. "This is delicious," they both said at the same time.

"Oh, good. I was worried since I haven't cooked for nearly half a century. I didn't think I'd ever cook again. Thanks, Kazuma. If you'd let me, I'd make meals for you every day."

Kazuma stared at Kuronue, wondering how he died.

"You better finish your plate…or else!" Kuronue said, grinning darkly.

Kazuma shoveled more food into his oversized mouth.

"Wha… habbened?" Yuusuke asked through a mouthful of food.

"_It must be nice to be immune to ghosts…"_ Kazuma thought.

The next day at school…-

"Kurama!"

Kuronue had taken over Kazuma's body yet again. "Hey, Kurama!"

The red-haired boy gave no response.

"Kurama, let's go steal something. Come on!"

Kazuma flinched. He had a strict honor code against stealing and things of that sort.

"Please? It'll be fun."

There was still no response.

Kuronue grabbed Kurama's wrist and dragged him into a small shop. "Here goes! C'mon, Kurama! Pick something out!" he hissed.

"Shut up!"

Kurama stormed out of the store.

"Oh, please? Kurama, you know how much you used to love stealing. Please, please steal again." Kuronue frowned. "You've gone soft, haven't you?"

Kurama whirled around and grabbed Kuronue by the shirt collar. "Stop, dammit!" A dark gleam shone in his eyes. "Do you want me to kill you too?"

"…Kurama?"

"Because of stealing… I killed someone."

_(Woohoo! End of Chapter Two! There will be more to this subsection, "Promise", later. I am truly sorry for the late update.)_


End file.
